Clint A. Wilson

Delving Deeper into Compassion

Compassion

By Clint Wilson

Delving Deeper into Compassion

October 10, 2015

Introduction

My individual thoughts on compassion have been both challenged and affirmed. I have always considered myself a compassionate person. Many of the talks I listened to and the books I read affirmed the authenticity of my compassion. However, what challenged me the most was learning when not to show compassion. This revelation was brought into focus by Jacki Tabick’s comment in her TED Talk:

"I hope, trying to understand something of the pain of others; but understanding that there are limits, that people have to bear responsibility for some of the problems that come upon them; and that I have to understand that there are limits to my energy, to the giving I can give." —Jacki Tabick, "The Balancing Act of Compassion" (TED Talk)

Compassion and Burnout

Joyce Rupp’s discussions on compassion burnout also resonated deeply with me. Before this course, I believed it was my duty to show compassion to everyone, regardless of the cost. However, I’ve come to understand that stepping back and caring for myself is not only acceptable but necessary. This realization was underscored by a recent health scare, prompting me to prioritize self-care.

Another significant revelation was learning to ask for compassion from others. In the past, I silently bore my struggles without seeking help. Now, I release my concerns and accept compassion from those around me. This shift has allowed me to give more of myself to others while maintaining balance in my own life.

Personal Growth Through Reflection

Joyce Rupp’s teachings, particularly her book Fly While You Still Have Wings, were transformative. While I struggled to relate to certain aspects of her story, I found profound connections to her experiences of childhood adversity. Like Rupp, I grew up witnessing domestic abuse, which shaped my strong sense of compassion.

One activity during this course—a reflective drawing exercise—had a particularly profound impact on me. It helped me confront and release a burden related to my mother’s death that I had carried for over 20 years. This experience reminded me of the first time I witnessed true compassion: the hospice workers who cared for my mom and supported my family. Their actions inspired my lifelong commitment to compassion.

Applying Compassion in Ministry

Moving forward, I have implemented regular self-care practices, including weekly personal reflection and emotional healing. These practices have already changed my behavior, enabling me to recognize and respect my limits. I now understand that when I am physically or emotionally exhausted, I cannot effectively help others.

A recent family incident highlighted this growth. After years of estrangement, I reconciled with an aunt at my grandmother’s funeral. Extending compassion in this situation not only brought closure for me but also relieved my aunt of her guilt. This moment exemplified the dual nature of compassion: self-compassion and compassion for others.

Reflections on Pride and Humility

Jacki Tabick’s words on pride deeply resonated with me:

"At Passover, what we have to do is try to get rid of our hot air—our pride, our feeling that we are the most important people in the whole entire world... By doing so, we free ourselves from habits and emotions that enslave us, allowing us to see the needs of others." —Jacki Tabick, "The Balancing Act of Compassion" (TED Talk)

Pride once consumed me, blinding me to the needs of others. It wasn’t until I experienced compassion from a stranger during a personal crisis that I began to change. This moment inspired my journey into professions centered on helping others, including work as an EMT, grief counselor, and emergency chaplain.

Compassion in Practice

My early experiences in emergency response taught me the importance of empathy. I vividly remember my first call as an EMT, where my compassionate approach earned the trust of an elderly patient. These experiences led me to pursue certifications in hospice and emergency chaplaincy, allowing me to provide spiritual and emotional support in the most challenging moments.

Every compassionate act I perform today stems from the kindness shown to me by one man during my darkest hour. His actions taught me the transformative power of compassion and continue to guide my ministry.

Conclusion

This course has fundamentally reshaped my understanding of compassion. I’ve learned that true compassion begins with self-compassion. By caring for myself, I can better care for others. This shift has not only improved my personal well-being but also enhanced my ability to serve others effectively.

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